Volume IX, Issue 19
May 6, 2020
Dear ,
I hope you and yours are well, mind, heart, body, and spirit. The uncertainty by itself is stressful, along with the fact that much is happening, and many decisions are being made, that are beyond our control. It's a time we could all use a question author Kristen Oliver poses in her oh-so-calming and helpful book The Connected Parent, "Okay, what are my choices here?" (I don't know
about you, but when I'm stressed and anxious, I often forget that I have choices.)
My time supporting Kristen as coach and editor as she wrote The Connected Parent always left me feeling more peaceful and hopeful. So it was a great joy to hear from her out of the blue last week, with some outrageously fun news. She got a call from a guy with BBC some weeks ago who wanted to know if he could use her book as a prop in their first ever show on Apple TV+, a comedy called Trying.
Here's a photo of Kristen and me before we knew just how "famous" we'd be! 😊
I realized that this, the Wednesday before Mother's Day, would be the perfect time to share Kristen's book with you. If you are, or know, a mom who would love some easy-to-use, effective strategies to lessen chaos and increase peace (or if you yourself would like to, as Kristen puts it, "uncover your peace"), then please check out Kristen's book.
Here's a photo of Kristen with her kids, Tessa and Andrew, who are woven throughout The Connected Parent.
In fact, every chapter begins with a quote from one of them, like this one from Chapter 9, which I share an excerpt from below:
“Mommy, I have something for you to remember.
If you want to be happy or sad, you can decide.”
~ Andrew, 6 days before his 4th birthday
Quite wise, right? I hope you find value, throughout this week to come, in considering your choices in each circumstance in your life and, if you write fiction, focusing on your characters' choices. After all, to quote Viktor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning, "The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way."
Love and light,
Maureen
Opportunities
CHARLOTTE READERS PODCAST
CELEBRATES ITS ONE HUNDRETH EPISODE!
In CPR's 100th episode, host Landis Wade "visits with one of his favorite authors and writing instructors, Craig Johnson, author of the New York Times bestselling mystery series which became the
basis for the hit Netflix original series Longmire.
This episode was recorded in a cross-country remote podcast that gives new meaning to the phrase, 'Social Distancing,' because Craig Johnson participated from his ranch in Ucross, Wyoming, population 25, while Landis was sheltering-in-place in his home in
Charlotte.
Craig Johnson is the recipient of the Western Writers of America Spur Award for fiction, the Mountains and Plains Booksellers Award for fiction, the Nouvel Observateur Prix du Roman Noir, and the Prix SNCF du Polar. His novella Spirit of Steamboat was the first One Book Wyoming selection.
Never short of words to put on the page or share in person, Johnson gave liberally of his time, discussing his ranching and writing, his first book, the book series, his last three books, his characters, the Netflix series and the actors, Longmire Days, writing tips and what’s
coming next."
You can listen/download this historic episode at: https://charlottereaderspodcast.com/s6-00-100th-episode-craig-johnson-walt-longmire-novel-series/
And you can learn about Charlotte Readers Podcast's journey here:
https://charlottereaderspodcast.com/history-and-gratitude-on-the-occasion-of-our-100th-episode/#more-2089
POETRY ROCKS!
Would you like your writing — prose and/or poetry — to be more graceful, powerful, beautiful? Do you sometimes find poetry confusing or intimidating and wish you could “crack the code”? Or do you enjoy writing and reading poems, but want a more thorough understanding of what makes a
poem good? Then this poetry extravaganza is for you.
Expect a good time exploring what makes a poem a poem, gaining the knowledge you need to confidently create and revise poetry, and strengthening your writing skills in all genres.
HERE’S WHAT YOU GET:
- 23 poetry creation tools, delivered one per day (Monday through Friday) to your inbox — in honor of National Poetry month, which is right around the corner. Use them as you get them, use them when you can, use them over and over to create poems.
Each tool zeroes in on one aspect of poetry and provides an innovative method to approach writing a poem. Many of them are great for creating prose, too. The tools include:
* a purpose, so you’re clear what you will learn
* background information when helpful
* “how-to” directions to create a poem
* an example that illustrates the poetry tool in action
* a short reflection to solidify the concepts covered
* “Hone Your Craft” suggestions for further exploration
* a short reflection to solidify the concepts covered
- A PDF document of each tool that you can print or save on your computer
- An audio recording of each tool, so you can learn by listening and/or reading
- Instruction on the role of audience, reading like a writer, and the process of revision, including a handy Revision Checkpoint Chart — this information can be applied to strengthen your prose as well as
poetry
- Additional poetry resources
- An e-book that contains the information and resources covered, as well as your 23 poetry creation tools for ongoing use
WHERE: From the comfort of your own home, via the internet.
WHEN: Any time you want! And once you receive all 23 tools, they’re yours to keep, which means that you can keep using them for years to come.
COST: $45
TO REGISTER: To pay with a check via mail, email info@wordplaynow.com for instructions. To sign-up online for Poetry Rocks, click here.
WHAT PARTICIPANTS SAY ABOUT POETRY ROCKS
" . . . for letting me hear your voice in my head, for the gift of reading poetry every day and asking “how does she/he do this?”, for filling my tool box with a lifetime of just-the-right-tool (my husband says you can do any job if you have the right tool), and for being a
writer whose work bubbles over with words that remind me of this great gift of humanness — thank you!
~ Linda Whitesitt
. . . a master class in creativity, writing and understanding poetry. It is exceptionally rewarding, educational, and enjoyable. It is a celebration of life. . . . each lesson includes a “what to do” section that directs the student to create a poem. . .
. The Tools can be used again and again, long after the course has been completed, to create new poems. . . . Maureen takes a playful approach to writing and teaching that makes this course particularly enjoyable.
~ Bud Thomas
Featured Writer
Meet Kristen Oliver
I am regularly in awe of my life. Many years ago, I felt sick, overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted, not really knowing what I could do in the day to get through. After a significant amount of
deep inner work, I emerged with quite a few insights and even what I would call awakenings.
I learned how my thoughts, my subconscious patterning, so strongly influenced events in my life, relationships, physical health, work and finances.
As I continued to delve more deeply into personal development, I started experiencing transformation and lasting change.
What started out as a personal journey to heal my body gave me the tools to witness amazing shifts within my family and, later, with the people I worked with in my profession as a pediatric occupational therapist.
I developed a unique methodology and 4-step process, based in neuroscience and spirituality, that I now teach in my classes, programs, retreats, individual sessions and book.
The results have been remarkable. To my delight, I’ve witnessed clients identify and release negative patterns and limiting beliefs, essentially shifting the lives of each member of their family.
I’m passionate about this work. It feeds my soul to help others move through what life offers them and to see them connect to their True Selves and create a life they love.
Here’s Kristin's formal bio:
Drawing on her 19 years of professional experience and her 14-year inner journey, author, speaker and transformational coach Kristen Oliver, MOT, OTR/L combines concepts and practices based in neuroscience and spirituality to offer specific strategies to release negative patterns and limiting beliefs, enabling clients to permanently change their habits and create a life they love.
Kristen received her master’s degree in Occupational Therapy from Duquesne University. In addition to individual sessions, classes and retreats, she also offers online programs. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Featured Writing
an excerpt from
The Connected Parent
by
Kristen Oliver
from Chapter 9
CHOOSE—SELECT A WAY TO LET GO
The Connected Parent. is filled with strategies and tools, along with stories and examples. Chapter 9 was one that I found particularly valuable. In answer to that question: Okay, What Are My Choices
Here? Kristen gives this list of choices, each with a clearly spelled out method:
- Acceptance
- Empathy
- Leaning into Your Experience
- Release
- Meditation
- Forgiveness and Love
- And more!
Choose Empathy
So often, our kids just want to know that they are being seen and being heard. Who am I kidding? I want the same
thing!
I love and am inspired by communication strategies and teachings based in compassion and empathy. Many teachers in this field are able to mediate between individuals or groups in conflict, allowing the perspective of all parties to be heard and those involved to feel witnessed from a place of mutual respect. With compassion, the participating parties then move toward reasonable solutions together.
It’s not always easy to choose empathy if you are really triggered by something your child says or does. However, once you do some work on your stuff, genuine empathy can be a powerful tool.
Client Triumph—Hair Brushing Analysis
After reviewing the whole concept of empathy and compassionate communication with the parents of Emily, a beautiful eight-year-old girl, they returned to a follow up session with a life-changing story. One of Emily’s issues was that she refused to brush her hair. She had some sensory challenges that made this process feel like torture to her.
One Saturday, her dad got out a white board and markers, sat on her bed, and listened to what she had to say. She detailed the discomfort of getting her hair brushed and he made charts that visually exhibited what she was saying to him. They did this and other empathy-based activities that he came up with for 1½ hours! The next day, they did a variation of the same activity for 45 minutes. On the third day, she came to her parents holding a hair brush and asking them to brush her hair.
Emily felt seen, heard and loved to the point that she shifted the longtime challenge of brushing her hair into an opportunity to bond with her parents.
Honing your empathy skills for others helps them to feel seen, heard, and loved. What more could a child want?
What about me?
I would also like to take the opportunity to emphasize self-empathy. We aren’t taught in society to empathize with ourselves. Could you imagine hearing an elementary school teacher say, “Just be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes”? She could go on to say, “It
is helpful to just love yourself no matter what.”
Sometimes our power comes in when we provide to our self what is most needed. For example, in a recent private session with both parents of a family of five, we were discussing how the whole family got together to make gingerbread houses as a fun holiday activity. It turned into a vortex of chaos and arguing. The mom just wanted to build strong family memories and was experiencing frustration that the kids couldn’t pull
it together. So much anger came up for the dad that he walked out on the activity. In the end, the clients laughed as the mom told me she just took a picture of the gingerbread house rather than one of the family as they made it. We joked that the photo could be shown to the kids in the future when trying to prove that they did, in fact, do some family activities together.
When moments like this arise, it can be so powerful to empathize with yourself as well as with others involved. What does this sound like? Saying to yourself, “Wow, this really stinks. I can’t believe we are here again. I just wanted to complete an enjoyable family craft, and everyone is arguing and moody, including me and my husband. This stinks and I don’t like it.”
Again, there is power in choice. When you are aware that you are empathizing with, comforting and loving yourself, it’s hard to subconsciously play the victim role at the same time. The kind of energy here is one of a loving grandmother coming over to put her hand on your back.
~ from Kristen Oliver's book The Connected Parent
Click the book's title to learn more or purchase.
WordPlay Now! Writing Prompt
This is WordPlay—so why not revel in the power and potential of one good word after another? This week, it's “choose.”
PROMPT: Make a short list of problems or situations that you, or one of your characters, is facing. Then, write about one of these, being sure to include one or more deliberate choices that can be/were made. You might want to look at the list that starts the featured writing above before you begin. What, for example, would choosing acceptance, or empathy, look like in this situation?
It's fun to play with prompts in community with fellow writers, and to be able to share the results when you're done. You can find out about WordPlay classes, workshops, and retreats here.
MAUREEN RYAN GRIFFIN, an award-winning poetry and nonfiction writer, is the author of Spinning Words into Gold, a Hands-On Guide to the Craft of
Writing, a grief workbook entitled I Will Never Forget You, and three collections of poetry, Ten Thousand Cicadas Can't Be Wrong, This Scatter of Blossoms and When the Leaves Are in the Water.
She believes, as author Julia Cameron says, “We are meant to midwife dreams for one another.” Maureen also believes that serious “word
work” requires serious WordPlay, as play is how we humans best
learn—and perform. What she loves best is witnessing all the other dreams that come true for her clients along the way. Language, when used with intentionality and focus, is, after all, serious fuel for joy. Here's to yours!
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