Volume X, Issue 11
March 17, 2021
Dear ,
Language has power, and swearing really packs a punch, whether we (or our characters) are swearing oaths on Holy Bibles or letting loose a string of obscenities.
When should you swear in your writing, if at all? (Here, I'm talking about obscenities, not Holy Bibles.)
Well, if you're writing a scene in which you, someone you know, or one of your characters swears in "real life," they should swear in your books, too. It's a part of having an authentic voice.
Today's featured writing, an excerpt from Tony Ricciardelli's Tales from the Stoop, contains numerous swear words because the scene is from Eugene's point of view, and Eugene grew up in a neighborhood where swearing was de rigueur. He's a high school student who's been bullied by a pair of twins, and he's been pushed into performing on a
local TV talent show. It's a make-or-break moment for Eugene, and he's incredibly nervous. All the swearing he does takes place inside his head. The scene provides a very convincing glimpse into Eugene's thoughts and feelings in this moment, and is a good example of combining dialogue with a character's thoughts.
While we're talking about swearing, I have a bonus writing for you. I couldn't resist sharing an excerpt from Jon Scieszka's Knucklehead: Tall Tales and Almost True Stories of Growing up Scieszka, about just that. Having attended Catholic schools from 1st through 12th grades, I can totally relate!
NOTE: If you don't want to read mild swear words, please don't read any further. I respect your stance on this, and do not want to expose you to anything that would offend you.
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. . . The nuns and their habits spooked me as a kid. But I was a good reader and a good student, so I didn't get in too much trouble with them . . . until 5th grade, when all the boys got in trouble. One of the girls told the principal, Sister Mary, that the boys were swearing on the playground.
So everyone had to stay after school. And we couldn't leave until we had written all of the swear words we knew down on a piece of paper with our name on it, and handed it in. To our teacher—a nun.
Now this was a problem. Because we had been taught in religion class that nuns were married to God. So how were we supposed to write down swear words and give them to God's wife? That sounded like a sure way to burn in hell.
Most of the girls in class wrote down their name, and then handed in their papers with hell and maybe damn listed. They got to go home.
The first boy walked up with hell and damn written on his paper. "Go back to your seat," said Sister Margaret Anne. "You know more."
How did she know? We were dead. There was no way we could write down all the bad words we knew. But we weren't going to get out of there without writing something else. Soon the room was all boys, each of us trying to figure out how to write swear words to a nun.
I wrote hell. I wrote damn. Then I was stuck. It didn't look like much of a list. I added stupid, doofus, butt, and goober. This was looking better. I added
head to the stupid and wrote stupidhead.
Divine inspiration! I could add head to everything and double my list.
I wrote doofushead, butthead, gooberhead, damnhead, and hellhead. Then I realized I could combine all of the words to make new words that weren't any worse than the originals. I wrote stupidhell,
gooberbutt, doofusdamn, and hellbutt.
Now, there was a list. I walked up to sister Margaret Anne's desk. I handed in my list. The universe stopped while she read it over and looked up at me.
"That will be enough," said Sister Margaret Anne.
And it was.
I walked out of school, waiting to be run over by a bus driven by an angry God. But I guess he liked my invented swear words, or didn't mind me swearing at his wife, or both, because I made it safely home.
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Scroll on down to check out Tony Ricciardelli's Tales from the Stoop!
Happy writing, whether you swear or not,
Maureen
Five-Week "Brave Mom" Writing Workshop
Are you a mom and a survivor of sexual violence? (Or do you know someone who is?) I am partnering with Brave Step to provide a 5-session weekly workshop to help Brave Moms use writing as part of their healing process and journey. Dates: All levels of experience are welcome.
WHERE: Virtual! From the comfort of your home (or wherever you happen to be). Anyone can sign up regardless of location!
WHEN: 7:00-8:30pm EST on Tuesdays: March 30, April 6, April 14, April 21, April 27
TO LEARN MORE/REGISTER: https://bravestep.org/brave-mom-writing-workshop/
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POETRY ROCKS!
Would you like your writing—prose and/or poetry—to be more graceful,
powerful, beautiful? Do you sometimes find poetry confusing or intimidating and wish you could “crack the code”? Or do you enjoy writing and reading poems, but want a more thorough understanding of what makes a poem good? Then this poetry extravaganza is for you.
Expect a good time exploring what makes a poem a poem, gaining the knowledge you need to confidently create and revise poetry, and strengthening your writing skills in all genres.
It would be a joy and an honor to share what rocks about poetry with you. Learn more here.
WHERE: From the comfort of your own home, via the web.
WHEN: Any time you want! And once you receive all 23 tools, they’re yours to keep, which means that you can keep using them for years to come.
COST: $45
TO REGISTER: To pay with a check via mail, email here for instructions. To register for Poetry Rocks! online, click here.
More WordPlay opportunities coming soon.
Stay posted!
Charlotte Readers Podcast Turns 200!
(Episodes, that is)
In honor of the 200th episode of Charlotte Readers Podcast coming on April 13th, Charlotte Readers Podcast is giving away
gifts.
Sign up for the podcast email newsletter list a/k/a The Book Report HERE by April 12th to be eligible to win. Prizes include:
Kindle
Beats Flex Wireless Earphones
Plus, other prizes.
Eligibility and other terms for 200th episode giveaways: Must be on the Charlotte Readers Podcast newsletter email list as of April 12, 2021 to be eligible to win. Winners will be announced in the April 13, 2021 newsletter a/k/a The Book Report. Announced winners forfeit their prize unless they send a return email with their mailing address in response to the April 13, 2021
newsletter by 5:00 pm EST on April 20, 2021 to claim their prize. Be on the look-out for announced winners in the April 13, 2021 email newsletter, a/k/a The Book Report.
Featured Writer
Meet Tony Ricciardelli
Tony Ricciardelli was born in Winthrop, Massachusetts. As a child during the turbulent 1960s, he lived in East Boston, growing up in a working-class neighborhood among extended family. He studied
Communications and Media at the University of Massachusetts and earned a MA in English from Salem State College. His background includes many years working in the corporate world as a course developer and instructor.
Later in his career, he enjoyed teaching English at a local community college. There, he established and championed for ten years, The Phi Beat Coffeehouse, a student-oriented open mic, enabling students to bring their talents to the local community while expressing themselves freely through music, art, and poetry. He also resurrected an earlier college publication
titled Dimensions, a student literary and art magazine. He is a member of Charlotte Writers’ Club, a volunteer at Angels and Sparrows soup kitchen, and a board member at Mooresville Arts. Tony is retired and lives in North Carolina with his wife, two dogs, and one cat. This is his first book, a self-published bucket list item that is now marked “complete.”
Check out Tony's book here.
NOTE: If you don't want to read strong swear words, please don't read any further. I respect your stance on this, and do not want to expose you to anything that would offend you.
Jim Newman pulled an index card from inside his suit pocket and moved center stage. “Our next guest is a fine young man from East Boston, where he is a sophomore at East Boston High. Today he’ll charm us with Dean Martin’s number one tune from just a couple of years ago, “Everybody Loves Somebody.” Please extend a warm
welcome to Eugene Cattone.”
Okay, I’m walking on stage. There’s Jim Newman and the crowd. Hundreds of people, they’re clapping. I’m walking, walking. Where’s Dad and Uncle Dom? There’s the star on the floor, center stage. I’m almost there. Where’s the damned music?
Jim Newman shook his hand. “Eugene, since we’re running ahead of schedule, you won’t mind if I ask you a couple of questions before we begin, will you?”
“No, sir.” Give me a break, mister? Fuck off before I die?
“Fine. Now, Eugene, it says here in your profile that you’re an avid Red Sox fan. Who’s your favorite player?”
“Tony Conigliaro.” I’m going to piss myself!
“You enjoy the Beatles, and Nonna’s cooking. Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about yourself?”
“No, Sir.”
“Is your girlfriend watching this morning?”
For Chrissakes, mister! If I say I don’t have a girlfriend in front of all these people, the entire world will think I’m a loser.
“Um, yes sir, she’s watching.”
“And what is your girl’s name, Eugene?” Gene looked to the floor, pretending he didn’t hear the question.
“Well, young lady, whoever you may be,” said Jim Newman, pointing toward the camera. “This is the moment you’ve been waiting for, I’m sure. Let’s give a warm welcome to Eugene Cattone, singing the Dean Martin hit, “Everybody Loves Somebody.”
Back at the Nonna’s living room, hearts raced. One of the twins made a flippant remark to Angie about being Eugene’s wife, which was addressed with a quick, five-stroker from Nonna’s stick. Angie crushed the Niagara Falls pillow to her breast and lowered her head so that her eyes peeked cautiously over its laced edge. Aunt
Theresa squeezed Uncle Frank’s hand. Uncle Sal nervously chewed on his cheek. Papa twiddled his thumbs at high speed. Gene’s younger sister held onto Nonna’s skirt. Aunt Rose grabbed a rosary Nonna kept by the telephone table, and nobody breathed. The music started and Eugene began to sing.
Find out how Eugene did by purchasing Tony's book here.
WordPlay Now! Writing Prompt
This is WordPlay—so why not revel in the power and potential of one good word after another? This week, it's “swear.”
Write about a time that you, someone you know, or one of your characters swore, whether it was to take an oath or to, as we called it when I was a kid, "cuss."
MAUREEN RYAN GRIFFIN, an award-winning poetry and nonfiction writer, is the author of Spinning Words into Gold, a Hands-On Guide to the Craft of
Writing, a grief workbook entitled I Will Never Forget You, and three collections of poetry, Ten Thousand Cicadas Can't Be Wrong, This Scatter of Blossoms and When the Leaves Are in the Water.
She believes, as author Julia Cameron says, “We are meant to midwife dreams for one another.” Maureen also believes that serious “word
work” requires serious WordPlay, as play is how we humans best
learn—and perform. What she loves best is witnessing all the other dreams that come true for her clients along the way. Language, when used with intentionality and focus, is, after all, serious fuel for joy. Here's to yours!
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